gift

~ I need a nice gift ~

i love receiving gifts   &   i love giving gifts   -   equally!

Both acts give me the same (though mirroring) effect :

The buzz / fulfillment / joy of getting it right; 

Others for me  &  I for others. 

But it is not the present that i love! 

never have...

It is the sole realization of  s o m e o n e  getting me  r i g h t  !

Why, we so often feel we are coming through to our chosen few around us, and feel really content about it. 
Then, for a moment i think:

"Do they really?"

"Do they see me or they simply see in me the parts of them they need/want/recognize/crave?"

"Do they see me or are they molding me into themselves?"

Gifts, for me, is a truly ingenious & sincere way to see what others 

want from me, 

expect of me, 

need of me, 

believe of me; 

"Believe of me" translating to "Getting me" in my mind.

This is why the thought put into the gift is much more important that the money spent in it. 

This is why, at its core, gift-giving involves risk (ref. Mark Osteen):

The risk of giving the wrong gift carries the psychological loss of having the recipient conclude that the donor just doesn't know him/her quite that well (...if at all).

An even worse realization for me is that the donor might "get me" alright, but consciously prefers to force bits of his/her personality in me instead. 

Oh, how sad... how much I would simply prefer to "simply not get me" than that...

Finally, a gift might "get me" through the accompanying feeling. 

The present itself might be crap/useless/uninspired/completely wrong, 

but, while handing it over, 

the donor might give me the best hug ever, 

the best look through our eyes, 

the bestest wish, 

the greatest attitude, and

love through & through...

Oh, 

how I will  a d o r e  my crap/useless/uninspired/completely wrong present 

&  c h e r i s h  it as a g i f t  !

Then again, there are the gifts that have it all:

Excellent present, loving gift, perfect attitude !

Like the one I received last night:

Love, Alva